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"I started to shake my head, but he tsked. "While she is alive, there is hope. Reflect on the possibilities, and set aside your moping. Did you do more than talk last night?"His eyes twinkled, and I couldn't stop the shy smile from my face."I thought so." He laughed again. "Go help pick apples, and get more than a bushel this time."Jaden gently shoved me away, and I went and did as he bade, my heart a tiny bit lighter.***The days slowly rolled into each other, and autumn moved toward winter. The soldiers were here to help rebuild and reinforce defenses, and they set to work with enthusiasm. Trees were cut down and split, half burnt buildings torn down and new walls erected in their place.Captain Arden had seven towns to oversee, so she was gone more often than she was here in our town. Those days she was here, I kept my distance, my wounded heart unable to bear her presence for long.I did watch her, though. I watched her interact with her men, guiding more than ordering, encouraging. It’s that overplayed Journey song.“Not the sex,” I say.She looks over at me.“We haven’t had sex in over five years.”“You and your wife?” she asks.“Me and my mistress. Me and her.”She laughs out loud. Looks at the bartender but he’s not looking at her. Looks towards the door then back at me.“What kind of affair this that?”I turn to her.“It has its benefits,” I say.“What could be in it for you? Texts that say ‘thinking about you’?”I smile as I look down. Shake my head no.The sun comes out behind a cloud and some light spills in through the window over the door. The rest of the bar is pretty dark except for one window-sized square of sunlight now on the floor.“It’s something else. It’s like having a presence that only two people know about. That’s not a good way of saying it.”She looks at me.“I get it. You like the secret.” I cock my head slightly to think about that.“Maybe. But it’s more. The whole world knows who they think you are. Even with a boyfriend or a husband or a wife you.
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